6th January 2012 - its been nearly 3 months since I have last blogged. Just re-read my last entry to see where I was on my 'journey'. I can't believe how fast things have changed - as well as how fast time has gone, especially when considering my diagnosis was nearly a year ago.
My life over the last 3 months has consisted mostly of building up my initial part-time hours at work to full time. I started full time (3 x 12 hour shifts weekly) just before christmas. I took a short break between christmas and new year and resumed back to normal shifts - apart from this week which I have taken as annual leave. I was informed a couple of weeks ago that I have over 200 hours of annual leave to use before 1st April which has been accrued during my sick leave. I must admit I hadn't even thought that I would be entitled to any leave during my absence so even if I lose some holiday I won't be too upset. I just feel grateful that I am now 'well' enough to return to full-time work - even if at times it can be stressful, extremely technological and physically and emotionally draining.
As for my treatment - I still have 3 weekly intravenous herceptin, which is now administered by nurses at home. I don't seem to have any major side-effects from this so this has become a part of my life. I also have regular echo's (scan of the heart) as the previous effects of herceptin caused the heart to function abnormally, although all is ok at the moment. I take daily tablets of tamoxifen and a beta-blocker (for the heart), again with no real side effects to shout about. As chemo was now many months ago (thank god!) my hair is really growing back with vengeance - apart from its shortness the only thing that has changed is the hair feels quite soft. I even have the slight curl back - which is a damm nuisance as its too short to straighten it!!
When I look back and think about only a few months ago I now can't believe what I have been through. I know people have told me how strong I have been with everything but I couldn't see that then. I now feel a completely different person to how I was most of last year. I feel like - me. There are, of course, subtle changes - like I now get extremely tired very quickly after working, or doing something strenuous, needing sometimes over 9 hours of sleep when I'm not working, not being able to use my left arm properly as I still have little feeling in the upper arm to chest area and this is obviously quite weak, and not being able to move and handle properly within the work environment. But all these things I have learnt to adjust so I can continue. I have even started back to my normal routine of exercising - although I have left out press-ups as I was told off by a nurse who was checking for lymphodema (swelling of the arm) and was surprised I continued when I had pain in my arm!
I have much to live for and I fully intend to grab as much of life as I can. That's what happens when your life is shaken up like this - you realise what your real priorities are and forget about anything that isn't important to you. After beating this battle, I've come out of it stronger and more determined - so you know who will come off worse with other battles - it certainly won't be me! At the stroke of midnight on new years eve we let off a huge rocket with all the bad stuff written on the stick of the firework - and sent it into oblivion. Goodbye all the bad and horrible stuff, welcome new year, new me!
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