The Deed

Woke up fairly early on the morning of The Deed, done the necessary chores, drove kids to school and set to with my nornal exercise routine. Couldn't help noticing however I felt incredibly sick. Trying hard to keep my focus I finished exercising and got ready to go out. Felt very strange at this point, saying aloud goodbye to the cats, bedroom and house as this would be my last goodbye I would say with long hair! It was also incredibly difficult saying goodbye to Ian and the boys before they left too. I met my friend who was coming along for moral support at the pub for lunch and a large glass of dutch courage! 10 mins before the appointment was due my friend quickly suggested buying cakes so we can munch on them during the deed. With this I grabbed my coat and my friend looked surprised on how fast I moved!! We arrived at the hairdressers armed with all sorts of luxury cookies and being escorted into the chair had my hair washed. When in the hairdressing seat my friend offered me a cookie. At this point I was extremely grateful for this as the shear enjoyment and delight of eating my favourite food forced me to take my mind on what was happening - large chunks of my long hair being cut extremely short. I couldn't even look - I just kept eating. The longer pieces of hair was being collected by the assistant as I am going to send this off to a charity where hair donations are made into wigs for children who are also undergoing treatments for cancer. Eventually I looked into the mirror. I wasn't too shocked, in fact felt quite surprised on how calm I felt - must have been the chemicals from the chocolate cookie! Whilst the hairdresser kept cutting and snipping my friend was taking photos and asked if I wanted to see the back. Despite feeling calm I felt I couldn't look until the deed was complete. So, approx one hour and 20 mins later I left the hairdressers with an Emma Watson hair style. The first 1-2 hours I felt like I had a wig placed on my forehead as I wasn't used to the shorter layers and kept trying to flatten this down. Did some shopping that included buying new hair products and went for a quick coffee. I have to say at this point my friend had made me feel very special throughout the entire process and had made the deed much easier to cope with - teamed with the kind words from the hairdresser I felt like royalty. My friend and I said our goodbyes and wandering through town I bumped into 2 other friends - who was also extremely supportive - especially as I hadn't seen one particular friend for years despite the warm thoughts and encouragement messages I had recieved from this blog being followed. When I got home I then felt very nervous of showing off the new hair to the family - Ian in particular who had expressed concern over my feelings on this. However, I need not have worried as all showed genuine delight of my new hair style - even Ian saying he felt relief that I was happy and he was pleased with the results. We then settled into celebrating my new achievement throughout the evening with good food, wine and a bowl of popcorn with a drama on TV.

Thursday was at a much slower pace - had appointment at the hospital for pre-admin checks. Still no date for the surgery though and this is now making me feel very unsettled. I have another appointment to see the consultant tomorrow and should be given a date then. Washed my hair this evening and I have the first pangs of ooh no - what have I done. But I know even my new hair is only temporary, in particular when chemo kicks in. So, gearing up for tomorrows appointment I give in gracefully to my bed calling and resist the urge to whack a ton of gel on top of my head to stop this wig feeling again! So, until tomorrow.