Where do I start?

Don't know where to begin on this entry - to sum up these last seven days won't take many words. Utter sadness, disbelief, frustration, as well as feeling powerless and quite low. I have also been made aware of some important facts about all of this that I find hard to take on-board - 1. to control these emotions (which has been incredibly hard), 2. to build up my support network (which all my friends and family have been extremely supportive) and 3. (which I find the most difficult) to look after me first and foremost.

So, I begin a new mission - before this battle commences (which will start on the day of the op) I am trying my upmost to conquer these 3 points above, as I have realised without this in place there will not be enough 'fight' left in me to win this battle. Maybe I will include these points in future entries so I can also take a reflective stance of this. Therefore, of today -

1. My feelings and emotions - have felt and experienced different feelings, acknowledged this and have been able to let them pass by without dwellingon them.
2. Build up support network - in touch with good friends who are able to offer their support and regularly  communicating/seeing family members.
3. Me - hmm, ooh yes, had a bun from the bakers and made arrangements to see my friend. Unfortunately as I'm not working all housework was completed so perhaps that is something I need to work on to pass onto other members of the family!

To sign off I would like to say a big thanks for my family, in particular to my anut and mum who came to see me today with their many gifts, who made me realise what is really important as well as giving  me the encouragement to continue on this journey.