Proud of Myself?

Well, this is day 6 of the first round of chemotherapy. Stright after writing the last blog entry and commenting on how good I was feeling 4 hours post chemo, I started to feel immensly nauseas. This continued into the afternoon and evening with the nausea getting worse. Typical - as I had previously reported on how well I was doing. Can't really remember much more of that Friday other than taking my anti-sickness drugs as instructed. Saturday went shopping late morning as was feeling slightly easier but spent minimal time out as didn't want to push things, especially as the nausea feeling was off and on. I spent the afternoon indoors feeling very nauseas and irritable - as if I couldn't settle into anything, even just sitting was an effort. Didn't have much to eat that day as the foods I did want to eat just couldn't seem to eat when it came to it. Also didn't sleep at all - just at the point of sleep I would wake up with an extremely dry mouth, drink an unsurmountable amount of water, got up to refill my cup and went to the loo, sleep was simply not achieveable. In the morning I got up with a banging headache, so aware of the infection risk to my system took my temperature and had 2 paracetemol as temp was ok. Sunday was worse, in particular as having no sleep, headache and very nauseas. I also felt that the anti-sickness drugs I was given by the hospital was actually bringing on the nausea so omitted these drugs from the evening dose. It was on this day that I felt as I wasn't coping with anything at all, so called my mum as she had previously offered to come over and help out if needed. I realised by this stage that perhaps ommitting anti-emetics wasn't the wisest of decisions and made allowances within eating foods to make up for this. So, Sunday evening mum was there, and as I was feeling pretty rough I was grateful for this. I now think that day 2 post chemo will be my worst day.

Monday was slightly better - achieved better sleep but still had an unbearably dry mouth overnight. Woke up twice during the night with another banging headache that was controlled by paracetemol. I called the hospital to ensure the anti-sickness drugs I was given was the most effective - I was assured this was and so accepted this more graciously. Had a sleep in the afternoon and went to bed early - too early as during this night I didn't have much sleep at all - perhaps as I previously had too much sleep? Nausea continued but at a markedly less degree and tried to build a routine in the taking of my anti-emetic drugs. Tuesday continued to feel better in myself and felt less agitated - I even got out my nursing workbooks that had been passed onto me from work in order to continue with my skills and I was surprised on how elated I felt that I was able to successfully complete a section of this! That evening felt the best I have felt since chemo started - laughing, joking, even muching on favourite foods - hey - this is normality - but for how long??

Wedensday continued with feeling on the up with less nausea - and an established drug routine. Had a bag of chips from the fish and chip shop which I have not done for years. Wednesday evening mum went home as I was feeling considerably better but I was also aware mum would be over again if I felt bad or - which is more likely - during the first few days on the next round of chemo. Felt tearful at this point - mum had got me over my worst point but was also good company too, but knew that I would see her again. Had another restless night - waking up every 15-20 mins with a completely dry mouth but prevented another headache by taking paracetemol on the onset of this headache early morning. I have started taking a bottle of giger ale up to bed with me as this helps ease any sickenss as well as providing something different to drink from water.

So, Thursday now - got up mid-morning, breakfasted ok, pottered around the house, spoke to hubby on the phone, even hoovered around the house (carefully and slowly!), chatted to friends who are coming over to see me (with cake! - very welcome!!!) hung the washing out, spoke to mum on the phone and even blogged - I think so far a very good day indeed.

Proud of Myself? - I think that with what I have had to encounter so far the answer is yes. However, as I am most aware of my current feelings is always set to change.