Tuesday 15 February 2011
ARRRRGH!
Had an appointment today with the plastic surgeon to discuss the different possibilities of breast reconstruction. As advised, I had several questions written down in preparation for the appointment. After a brief chat in which I was told any questions I had would be answered by the doctor during his spiel, I was examined to determine what type of reconstruction would be best for my individual needs. Once the curtain was drawn around me, the surgeon and student came in to discuss several options of reconstruction - leaving my husband outside the curtain. I felt quite isolated as up until now my husband had been included and considered in all previous consultations. I also felt bad that he had been mostly ignored and not invited into discussion on any matters. The surgeon informed me of the varying types of surgery, and managed to relieve my worries and anxiety of using my own body tissue for construction by using impants instead. All positives and considerations to this procedure was discussed and I was feeling more and more reassured. Then I was told despite all the positives, I may not be able to have this procedure if radiotherapy was going to be part of my treatment reigeme. I left that appointment in tears with all my hopes crashing down and feeling what was the point of the appointment when it was clear I needed more information from the breast cancer surgeon - in paticular as it hadn't yet been established what treatment reigeme had been prescribed for me (radio/chemotherapy etc), and clearly any reconstruction procedures would need to take this into account first and foremost - ARRRGH!!! So, on the whole not a good day. Appointment with the breast cancer surgeon in a few days so paper, pencil and lots of questions - here I come!
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‘HELLO! I’M HERE TOO!!’
ReplyDeleteThat’s what I felt like saying at the appointment with the plastic surgeon this morning. We arrived in good time, waited around for half an hour then went in to see him. He greeted Skims and then myself with a warm handshake and that was pretty much my involvement - I may well have been invisible after that point.
Don’t get me wrong, I know this whole thing is about Skims, her treatment and recovery but there was a distinct difference today that left us both feeling pretty down. Last week, when we were given the news that Skims had breast cancer, the consultant and the breast cancer nurse explained everything to both of us together. It made it feel like ‘our’ problem and that we were being armed to fight it together.
Today, however, none of the conversation was directed at us, only at Skims. Ok, so it is Skim’s choice ultimately on which type of reconstruction she goes through but, it would have been nice to be included in the discussions.
This was bad enough, but then it got worse. The surgeon closed the curtains around the examination table, asked Skims to get undressed and lay on it. Then he and the student who was in the room went behind the curtain too and started to explain and demonstrate to Skims the different options with me sitting in the room but outside the drawn curtains, totally excluded.
Despite this, the conversation I was overhearing was quite heartening. The surgeon was talking about expandable implants being the best option. From what I understand, this is a much simpler operation with far less scarring than the other options involving taking tissue from elsewhere in the body. It was sounding very good until we were then told that this could not be done if Skims was to have radiotherapy.
Total deflation, hearing that the reconstruction surgery would not be as drastic to then have the rug pulled from underneath you by being told that it may not be possible. We don’t yet know what treatment Skims will be having post-surgery so we both left the appointment feeling angry and asking ‘what was the point in that?’ I am still asking myself why this appointment was made when the overall treatment plan is not known – surely, it is better to discuss the options for breast reconstruction once all the facts are known about future treatment so only the options relevant are put forward?
So, on the whole, probably the worst experience so far, short of finding out the diagnosis itself. Hopefully, our appointment on Friday with the cancer consultant will be a lot more positive and I can feel part of the treatment and recovery process and not simply feel like a spectator in all this.
On a lighter note, I have come up with a new nickname for Skims – ‘BBB’. Since she decided to become a nurse, I’ve nicknamed her ‘Bernard’. Those of you familiar with ‘Nursie’ from the second Blackadder series will know why (for those of you not familiar an explanation can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IquAh2Tgi10 ) After the surgery, with her newly rebuilt bits, ‘BBB’ will stand for ‘Bionic Boobed Bernard’ – I wonder if she’ll be able to run at 60mph once they're done?