Saturday got off to a good start with all things considering. In the afternoon went shopping in town as I previously thought retail therapy for some practical items for the future might just perk me up. This was a different story however when I was actually there. Just the sight of crispy new pyjmas, slippers and dressing gowns made me feel quite queesy. Took a few deep breaths and trying to think of happier thoughts choose new gear ready for the enivateable hospital stay. I have never left a shopping precinct so fast - I'm sure this made Ian's day!! As the evening had been previously arranged meeting a few friends at a family pub for my birthday celebrations I got ready to go out, but in doing so actually felt nervous and I couldn't fathom out why. It later occured to me these nerves was perhaps due to me facing my diagnosis publically (not that I have kept this a secret, far from it but is different in person with a group of people). Seeing all my friends again put my mind immediately at ease and in good company I was able to laugh, cry, feel angry and fustrated all at the same time! I also caught up with previous work colleagues and with an impromptu dressing change from the wound site saw the wound from the op for the first time. My friend assured me that the wound was clean and dry and looked good but when I looked in the mirror the reflection that I saw made me feel physically sick. Funny how being a nurse and seeing quite literally all bodily sites from surgery can have a such a dramatic effect on how you view your own body from surgery. This is not a nice thought when knowing the type of surgery I need. After catching up with many friends we walked home loaded with flowers, bottles of booze and extremely large boxes of chocolates - wonder how my friends knew what I liked!!
Sunday moring and I was woken with a cup of tea and lots of cards and presents from the family as it was my birthday. Went into London to Camden - weather was cold but the sun was shining. Shopped, had a lovley dinner with meaningful conversation and even more presents that ended with donougts for pudding from a stall outside! The weather changed to heavy rain so running back to the car we drove home. As I had borrowed a music CD I felt in the mood to play this lould and to exercise cautiously thinking this might help with my arm rehabilitation. Thankfully I was right and after an hour of (very carefully) using my exercise routine my arm from the surgery felt considerably less tight and more mobile. A relaxed evening was had by all and I managed to resist opening my large box of chocolates (much to the children's disappointment!) Overall, I have felt in a fairly upbeat mood. How long this will last no-one knows but whilst the mood with all of us has been quite good I have taken advantage of this - mostly by taking the mickey out of myself and joking to hubby that when the op is over I will have to get a bell - so he can be at my beckon call and on demand. I just knew there was some benefits to this situation!
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